Peter's Hospital Diary

I’m afraid I haven’t been in the right frame of mind for blogging in the last month or so. The background activities to the divorce have kept me busy too – I am amazed by the mountain of paperwork that it generates. The bad weather doesn’t do much to lift the spirits either.

BUT – today the sun is shining, a court hearing on Tuesday went fairly well, and not as daunting as I feared, and there are a few things to report!

After my Birthday weekend, things settled down a bit, but the highlight of April was a week of diving down on the Lizard peninsula in Cornwall. The weather wasn’t particularly kind to us (I was with my diving club) in that there were gales which gave a high sea state, but in the five days we were there, I did six dives. These were the first real and prolonged ocean dives I have done for nearly seven years, (discounting a 2 minute dive last year when my suit leaked) so it was quite an achievement. I was a little apprehensive, but once in the water I settled down and really enjoyed it. The training and practice sessions I had done in sheltered water had helped immensely, but it was great to be in the sea again. Another step in getting my life back.

Health wise, little seems to have changed. I had a clinic last week for one of the side effects of GvHd, but that has stabilised and I was discharged from it. The next major check up at the haematology department is next Wednesday, so another trip up to London and out to King’s College Hospital. The only caiuse for concern is my eyesight and the cataract problem. My next visit to St Thomas’s is approaching, and I think the time has come to ask about getting this sorted before it gets any worse.

The house is gradually getting into shape. My parents visited last weekend whichs good, and today I have been cutting the grass (I bought a lawn mower three weeks ago) and pricking out some germinating seeds, and setting some runner beans to germinate. I am fairly sure where I am going to put the beans, but I need to cut out some lawn (less to mow!) to make a bed for them.

So all things considered, not too bad, and justifying “Onwards and Upwards”!

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Things move on! Just after writing my last post, I had pretty much decided that I was going to rent a house for six months, and even got as far as paying the (non-returnable) administration fee to a letting agency to take up a tenancy. However, I still wasn’t sold on the idea, and two days later I had an e-mail from an estate agency with details of two houses. I went to look at them, decided one was suitable, and after a bit of negotiation agreed a price.

It is possibly the smallest house I will have ever lived in, but it has three bedrooms, one I can use as a study, a garage and en-suite bathroom.. Sadly no conservatory, which I will miss. But the runninmg costs will be lower, and I will only need a very small loan to purchase it, and so it will do for two or three years while I re-assess things and decide what to do next.

Meanwhile the division of our possessions and the dismantling of what has been my home here, and more significantly, the last 21 years of my life, continues. A lot of stuff is being got rid of, but the task seems never ending, but slowly and surely progress is being made, and with it the emotional detachment from this house.

Time scales are fairly tight, but I hope to be in before Christmas!

So, on a new path, Onwards and Upwards!

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It has been a long time since I last posted on here, and I suppose now is as good a time to explain as any.

It is a fact that couples that have been through some trauma are statistically more likely to separate after the event. The trauma either pulls people together, or exposes weaknesses in a relationship.

Sadly the latter seems to be the case for us. This all started coming to a head nearly two years ago, when Felicity said that she thought that divorce might be better for us. During the following months I tried to find an alternative way forward, but in October 2010 it became clear that there wasn’t one. We have stayed cohabiting in our house since then, but it was put up for sale in June, and a buyer has been found, and we are moving out in December. The divorce and all the paraphernalia still isn’t sorted, but I will probably move into rented accommodation for a few months to get my breath back and gain some sort of perspective on my new life, before looking for somewhere more permanent to live.

I am incredibly indebted to my parents and the few close friends who knew about this for their support and encouragement over what has been a difficult time. I will say that Felicity and I are still on amicable terms, and I hope that will remain the case.

Healthwise, there is little to report. I have been worried about the the inevitable raised stress levels on my health, but generally all seems to be OK. This January will be the sixth anniversary of the transplant, and five years since the donor lymphocyte infusion, and the scare and side effects that went with that.

The GvHd seems to be controlled, there are still one or two lingering side effects, but they are not serious, and seem to be stable, so that is some good news.

I don’t know what I will do with the blog – not because I don’t want to continue with it, but because internet access for the server might be a bit limited for a while. I will try and keep the server running somehow though! Perhaps I ought to change the tag line from “Getting my life back” to “Forging a New Life”!

I’m sorry this isn’t a very cheerful post, but sadly these things happen. Again I need to concentrate on the future, so as always “Onwards and Upwards”!

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