Thursday… t+1 year and a week
Jan 25th 2007PeterLife on hold!
I missed the anniversary of the transplant last week as I was in hospital, but it is probably worth remarking on, although this time last year I wouldn’t have expected to be where I am now!
Firstly, can I thank you all for your comments and expressions of support – I have said so before, but it really does make a difference to know that you are are all thinking of me, and I draw great strength from it!
As you might imagine, the last couple of days have been a time of great adjustment. Tears have been shed, and I’m sure there will be more, but we have reached a ‘stable’ stage for the moment!
It is ironic that I have been lecturing on bereavement counselling for Leukaemia Care, it takes on a slightly different perspecive when it becomes personal! Certainly knowing about the grieving process, and anticipatory grief gives insight to why my emotions are as they are, although that knowledge doesn’t enable one to short circuit the grieving process! I certainly feel angry at the potential loss of my remaining life, and the retirement that we might have enjoyed. Equally I recognise the arrogance in that statement – none of us has any “right” to an allotted lifespan, and I have had a good and interesting life. Perhaps the saddest thing is that Olivia may have no positive primary memories of me.
However, that is defeatist (or realist? :)) and there is much to do. Tomorrow I have a PET scan at St Thomas’s – number 19! – so we will see exactly what is happening, and I am still holding out for the donor lymphocytes!
On a positive note, I am eating well, and I think I might have put on a little weight. Certainly my face seems less gaunt, and I think my hair is starting to grow back! I certainly feel a lot stronger than I did at the start of the week, and with that physical strength comes back the mental determination not to give an inch without without a fight!
Finally, I promised you some more photos of Olivia. I have a selection taken during the last week, so I will sort some out and process them to a suitable size for the blog and post them over the weekend!
Is “Onwards and Upwards” still appropriate? I’m not sure, but it is certainly preferable to the alternative!
8 Responses to “Thursday… t+1 year and a week”
Richard on 25 Jan 2007 at 7:22 pm #
Peter your back 🙂
I take it you have been on the Winter Pimm’s, a real tonic…….well it make me sleep.
Looking forward to hearing that the tests provide a lever against the enemy.
Crossing up for tomorrow
XicharX
PS how does having your pet scanned help the medics? My cat would protest most strongly.
Mike on 25 Jan 2007 at 10:19 pm #
Peter
You have fought too long to capitulate to the little buggers now. I have nothing but total admiration for your strength and objectivity for where you find yourself. Do not deny me the opportunity of throwing more liquid over you, and you having a dig about it – even if next time it is not cocaine mouthwash ! For you and all the family in these times of mixed emotions – our thoughts and best wishes from all of us.
Mike, Dot, Matt and Rebekah
Liz on 26 Jan 2007 at 1:10 pm #
By the time you read this, you’ll be back from St Thomas’s. Here’s hoping and praying and everything else in between that it all went well today.
Lots of love,
Liz
Anne Oestmann on 26 Jan 2007 at 6:45 pm #
Peter
What an inspiration you are – your strength, courage and humour in the face of all the difficulties are truly humbling.
I’ve been thinking of you today and praying that the news will be positive.
With our love to you and all the family
Anne, Cord and Anna xx
Elspeth on 26 Jan 2007 at 8:13 pm #
I hope the PET scan was a doddle, delighted that you’re sounding so much more yourself.
In my view Onwards and Upwards is still appropriate, you’re still going up the road. It has had a z-bend with a pot-hole in it recently, it’s a bit straighter again, and not so bumpy. Looking forward to the pics of Olivia.
Sending loads of L’n’Hs as ever, O&U,
Elspeth OXOOetc
Hilary on 26 Jan 2007 at 9:12 pm #
Hi grandad,
Decided to abandon normal email and attempt to use your blog. Not sure whether it’ll work…!
Hope today went OK – was thinking about you. You really are an ‘expert patient’.
Have a good weekend – with lots of baby cuddles.
LOL
H
xx
Richard on 27 Jan 2007 at 8:16 pm #
Peter
Is it possible to have a vid clip of you and Olivia?
Any news?
XicharX
Peter on 27 Jan 2007 at 9:23 pm #
Not sure about Vid – will investigate!